ING INTERVIEW: CHARISMA CARPENTER
by Eric Goldman

IGN TV: There's still so much Buffy and Angel merchandise coming out, and this fall I believe, there's several new Cordelia action figures.
Carpenter: Finally! I totally got pushed to the side. You know, I wonder if they're doing a pregnant one…

IGN TV: I don't think they are, but I saw pictures of the ones that are coming.
Carpenter: [Laughs] No, I did [too]. They're coming out with three dolls. I had to approve them.

IGN TV: Is it fun for you to see those? It must be sort of strange.
Carpenter: You know what's weird? It's kind of not. I guess because I started when I was really young, and what shouldn't feel normal is kind of normal. Like I wouldn't know what's normal or not, but like when a family member comes over or when my brother is in from Chicago, he says to me, "Isn't it weird to have a Barbie doll?", or something like that. I'm like, "Yeah, I guess…" I never really thought about it and it's weird to look at your image and I don't think of it as me. I think of it as like, it's almost as if I'm at Mattel and I'm looking at a doll and I'm going, "Yeah, this needs tweaking. Yeah," and this and that and I write it down and submit it. It's not even like it's me. It's not real. None of this is real, so it's just sort of like a product. Remember in the 80's how Cindy Crawford would kind of refer to herself as Cindy Crawford: The Product and then there's Cindy? It's kind of what it feels like.

IGN TV: Is it odd for your son? "Here's mom's action figures!"
Carpenter: He doesn't get it yet. I try to tell him what I do, because I think it's very hard for him to understand at his age why I go away for awhile. He'll look at magazines sometimes and go, "Mommy!" It'll be someone else and not me, and then other times it is me. So I think he's just not clear. I think he's used to, "My mommy's on magazines, my mom has dolls, my mom's on TV." But I don't think he thinks that's cool or anything, I just think it's like, "Oh. Mom's on TV."

IGN TV: Looking back on your time as Cordelia, are there any particular storylines or episodes that stand out as your favorite?
Carpenter: It's funny, because I have Angel Tivoed, and I love to look at the early ones. Like the first and second seasons or my favorite seasons. I love watching the Doyle episodes, and I love the one where we kiss goodbye and I get the power ["Hero"]. I think that's a great episode. I love every scene I've ever done with him. And I think the goodbye episode, "You're Welcome", for the 100th episode... I loved doing that episode so much, because it was so poignant. It was such a… It was really where art and life were sort of intertwined and it was very meaningful and very spiritual and very healing to be back on that set and to have that.

Anyway, I was Tivoing and I went through Angel episodes last night. I had two Tivoed. I don't know why it worked out that way, but I was like, "I haven't seen that! What year was that? Oh, was I pregnant that year?" And then there's always me in the back [thinking], "How pregnant was I? God, my hair looks horrible like that! Oh, how awful!" And there was this scene where, it's told through Lorne's eyes - who I love, love his character. When he came along, it was awesome - when he's telling the story about the Beast and I end up being the Beast and we're discovering it. Lorne kind of gives me something on my tongue and then I kind of have a drug [inducement] and run away. And then Angel goes after me and he goes, "Do you remember?" And I say, "Yes, I do." And he goes, "Were we in love?" And I say, "Yes, we were."

I forget how complicated our relationship was. You know, when you're doing the work, it's a little hard when you're in it to sort of… In retrospect, I look back and I can be more of a viewer and more of an observer about it, then when you're in it. And I can just go, "God, that was sweet." We just really had a special relationship. I think that it's very touching, and I just thought, "That's so sweet!", and no wonder people loved watching the show! It was just real and loving. And what was that like? And did we love each other? And we care about each other. It's just so different.

You know, there's always the Buffy and Angel love; that first love. And then there's this kind of love that was just history and friendship and coming to each others rescue and total, utter trust and sincerity and honesty. And accepting of each others bad faults, like, you know, "You're a vampire… Oops!" [Laughs] And me like, "You're selfish and self-centered… Oops. But I still love you." Totally accepting each other for each others character defects and loving each other.

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